The War Between The Gumshoes
by Erie Maxwell
Summary: Akane thinks she's finally found a client, but what she's really found is trouble, especially for her father once she finds him. An A/U


Disclaimer: Ranma Nibunnoichi belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, who, much as I like to pretend, isn't me.  
  
So people, how are ya all? It is I, the great and noble Erie, don of the local fan fiction review mafia. I've decided to write what I initially wanted to write when I was making 'A:PIE' . . . *laughs* You know, I never actually noticed that! Anyways, I've been inspired again, mostly by reading the 'The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy' series, a new Dave Barry book, plus the two books I own written by Brains. Of course, I searched all over for Mind Over Matters, but NO FREAKIN' STORE HAS IT! *sigh* But I'm not here to complain, I'm here to see if you people like my story. I'm trying to decide whether to keep this or 'Akane . . . ' So, tell me what you think, and which one I should keep. Or perhaps I'll keep both, as they go off in completely different directions . . .  
  
The War Between The Gumshoes  
  
It was almost eleven o'clock when I raced into the office. My family had run this agency for close to 55 years now, always with more than enough customers. Unfortunately, lately no one had really felt the need to hire a private investigator. We were getting desperate, although none of us wanted to bring up the subject. This put my sisters and father in the worst moods I'd ever seen. With this in mind, it surprised me to see Nabiki smirking as I threw the door open.  
  
"Hi, sorry I'm late! I was a bit out of it this morning . . . but look, I brought lunch!" I gasped, holding up the container of ramen in proof as I caught my breath.  
  
Putting up her hand to silence me, Nabiki motioned towards the door leading to my personal office. "I wouldn't worry about food right now, if I were you. You've got a guest!"  
  
My jaw dropped. "What? We've got a customer? Yes!" I felt like dancing around the room, but realizing how childish that was, stopped myself. Besides, I had a case to get onto. This was no time for dancing! Before Nabiki could reply and ruin my absolutely perfect mood (and I knew she was going to, I could see her preparing to say something), I ran to the door, stopped just before I ran into it and walked casually in.  
  
* * *  
  
I settled myself into the worn leather chair, than turned to study my potential client. He was a man of about twenty-two, perhaps twenty-three years, blue-gray eyes, a nice build, with black hair pulled back in a pigtail. If I had been the type, I'd have called him handsome, gorgeous even, and I'd have had irrepressible fantasies about getting lost in those eyes . . . but I'm not that type! He gave me a heart-stopping grin, causing me to bite my tongue and resort to glaring.  
  
"So, 're you another secretary?"  
  
My glare deepened. "No, what kind of question is-." Suddenly remembering whom I was talking to, I pushed down my pride and smiled as sweetly as I could manage with clenched teeth. "No sir, Nabiki out there is filling in for my other sister, the real secretary. I'm a detective. Now, what seems to be you're problem?"  
  
The man frowned slightly. "Well, actually I kinda wanna talk to your brother. It's a matter of honor an' all that. So, can ya get him?"  
  
I stared at him, confused. "What are you talking about? I don't have a brother!"  
  
"Sure ya do, Akane Tendo! You know, the guy who's supposed to inherit this place . . . Jeese, you must be really slow if you don't even remember your own family!"  
  
I managed to keep myself from smashing him into the nearby window by reminding myself that he was the first client in a month, we really needed the money and he was probably one of those pretty-boy eccentric millionaires, so I'd probably get sued if I laid a hand on him. I didn't really believe that, but it was always better to be safe than sorry in these situations. "I'm Akane Tendo you moron! Do I look like a guy to you?" The guy was smirking now, so to stop him from answering that, leading to something we'd both regret, I changed the subject. "So, what's the 'matter of honor' you needed to talk about so badly?"  
  
His face clouded over as realization sunk in. ". . . Are ya sure you don't got a brother?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
He sighed, obviously frustrated. "Well . . . shit! Now what the hell am I suppose to do?"  
  
"Why don't you start by telling me what you came here for? Or at least your name!" I was beginning to question this guy's sanity level. I mean, what was his problem? I groaned inwardly. "Here, I'll start. Hi, I'm Akane, heir to the Tendo Anything Goes Detective Agency, and I'll be your private investigator today. So, what can I do for you?" I smirked at him, sticking out my hand.  
  
He quickly grabbed my hand and was about to speak when he was interrupted by a calm voice from the door.  
  
"Come on now Akane, please say you remember! That's Ranma. You know, from the Saotome branch of our dear little company."  
  
I stared at her blankly. Our family business had branches? "Never heard of him, sorry! Are you friends?"  
  
She grinned. "So you don't remember? Well, I suppose this is as good a chance for you two to get reacquainted as any! Akane, this is your fiancé."  
  
" . . ." I really didn't know how to reply to that. I wanted to scream, shout, maybe break a few cinder blocks to cool the anger that was bubbling up inside me. But I couldn't do any of those, so I chose to just stand there, shell-shocked.  
  
Luckily, Ranma had a few things to say on the topic. "WHAT? No way, Ranko's the one who's supposed to have this arranged marriage thing, not me! I just came here to get your brother, who Akane here says doesn't exist, but she's wrong right? Please tell me she's a ditz, psychotic, has amnesia, ANYTHING just as long as she's wrong! Ple-ase!"  
  
That annoyed me. Sure, I didn't want to be pushed into some loveless marriage with a guy I barely knew, especially one who seemed like such a jerk, but was the thought of marrying me so revolting? I turned my gaze onto Ranma and regarded him with a critical eye. "You know, you aren't so great yourself!"  
  
He whirled around to look at me. "And what's that supposed to mean? What, am I supposed to be upset some scrawny little tomboy doesn't want me? Ha, like I care! I bet you haven't even had your first kiss yet, right? You seem like the type who's so afraid of guys, you-."  
  
The punch was almost an unconscious reaction, throwing Ranma halfway across the room with such a perfect spin even Nabiki looked impressed. He got back up immediately and ran over to me.  
  
"Hey! What was that for?"  
  
I tried to use my coldest look on him. "Look, if all you came for is this engagement thing, go tell your parents I'm not going through with it. I'm a girl for one thing, and I refuse to marry anyone like you. I'm sure you can find some other family to marry into; in fact I hear the Amazons up in China are quite nice. A tad possessive, and it's rumored that they're severely satanistic, but hey you can't believe everything you read!"  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
" . . . What?"  
  
"You heard me, I'm not leaving! At least not yet. " Ranma crossed his arms and sprang over to sit in my leather chair. "'Sides, I didn't come here just for the engagement. We just moved here; so I figured I'd come play nice with my sister's in-laws, maybe meet a few new friends on the streets. But now that I think about it, I'm having far too much fun talking to you and your charming sister over there." He gestured at Nabiki, who raised her eyebrows, but smiled. "So here's my deal: How about we team up, just the three of us. I'm sure we could take down our dads between us, and mom's too into getting Ranko married off to worry about me. How 'bout it?"  
  
Nabiki shook her head. "Count me out. This has nothing to do with me, so unless you're willing to pay, and you can trust me when I say I would expect a fairly hefty sum, than you kids are on your own!"  
  
"B-but how do you know Akane is the one?"  
  
"Quite simple, really. Kasumi is already engaged, Dad won't be engaging me anytime soon due to the fact that I'm the one who controls the finances, and Akane has been the intended heir for most of her life. All just simple deduction. Besides, you two seem to have a certain . . . je ne sais quoi." With that, Nabiki walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
We stood there in silence. Finally, Ranma spoke.  
  
"Are you at least in?"  
  
I considered my options, squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. "Fine. What do you propose we do?"  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Well? What'd ya think? Liked it, hated it, whatever. Just review me! Oh, and thanks to Tiney, my beta. She rules, as you people most likely well know. 


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